I made a YouTube video explaining why I did not allow sibling rivalry. You can see it here.

I try not to use the Bible as a, ‘Do not do _______, and do not ______, and all of the other ‘do- nots.’

I do however use it as my training manual, and find that it’s a wonderful way to motivate my children. Every word within it is true and when followed, it brings positive results. Children of all ages can experience the power of the Gospel.

This is a short list of the verses that I used to teach my children how to handle conflict with their siblings.

 First……

I explained that God created each of us as individuals. We are knit together with different temperaments and personalities. We handle things differently. We are each handmade in love by our Heavenly Father.

Psalm 139:13

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Then…….

Not only are we each hand made, but God decided where and when we would live. Families are planned, designed and developed by God. We are in a particular family ON PURPOSE. It is not a random act.

Acts 17:26

26 And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their pre-appointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings,

So……..

How are we to act with our siblings, now that we understand that we are different from each other on purpose, and we were hand picked to be with the people in our lives?

We are to value others above ourselves. We are to take on the nature of a servant.

Philippians 2:3-7

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.

We are to serve others as Jesus did.

Matthew 20:26-28New International Version (NIV)

2 Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

We imitate Jesus and do what He says we should do.

Matthew 16:24-25

24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.

Because we want to honor God and be a disciple of Jesus, we ………

We don’t argue or complain.

Philippians 2:14-15New International Version (NIV)

14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky

We control our thoughts.

Philippians 4:8

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

When we get dressed each morning, we put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

Colossians 3:12

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

We help the least of these……..

Matthew 25:35-36,40

35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

I explain that God Himself will equip us, AND work in us to accomplish what is pleasing to HIM. We just have to be willing!

Hebrews 13:20-21

20 Now may the God of peace, ………. 21 equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

We would discuss these verses a lot, and memorize them, phrase by phrase, and then verse by verse, as each child was able.

God’s word is powerful and effective.

With time and patience, and a lot of role playing and discussions,  children can learn how to handle their thoughts and emotions in a godly manner.

How do you handle sibling rivalry in your home?